The TOTALLY Backwards Day at Hogwarts RETURNS!
by Ginger Granger
Summary: hahah this story is old. Oh man. I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
1. Chapter Two: Flashbacks

The Totally Backwards Day in Hogwarts School RETURNS!  
Chapter Two: Flashbacks  
  
Harry woke up. It had been about a week since that horrible tragedy (which, I must say, was a joy to write anyway!). He was in the Gryfindor Boys' Dorm. He shuddered when he thought of that terrifying day.  
  
He walked down to the Great Hall, only to want to run back up. He had had a traumatic day before in his life (and for those of you who didn't read my last fic, The TOTALLY Backwards Day at Hogwarts School, I will explain what happened).  
  
Harry didn't want to think about it! It was horrible. Everyone acted exactly OPPOSITE than they usually did. (I feel a flashback coming on) Ron had brown curly hair, and he was unusually brainy.. Kind of like Hermione, but worse!  
  
"Harry, do you happen to know the average radius of a cumulus cloud at a 137 degree angle from the sun at approximately four in the afternoon in mid-fall?" (Chapter Three)  
  
Hermione.. brace yourself.. Hermione FORGOT HER HOMEWORK!! She had red hair and an attitude, kind of like Ron, but, you know, worse!  
  
"Honestly, Harry, you should get your glasses fixed. I'm Hermione, duh! By the way, who does your hair? Albert Einstien?!" (Chapter One)  
  
First period was Potions with Snape.. he didn't even want to think about Snape! Snape was all makeupy.. It was gross!  
  
"Oh!" he said. He looked at his pearly pink watch. "Class time already!" He put his hands with long sickly ruby-red nails up to his cheeks. "Fashionably late, you know," Snape said with a giggle. (Chapter Two)  
  
Malfoy happened to sit next to him. He had fake glasses on, green contact lenses, and the tatoo of a scar on his forehead. In other words, he looked just like Harry.  
  
"Hey, gorgeous," Malfoy said. "What are you doing tonight?"  
  
Next was Transfiguration.. McGonagall had a Brooklyn accent, and she definitely changed her wardrobe a bit.  
  
McGonagall was.. quite different. Flowing long black robes? I think not. Red mini-skirt with a white top with red words plastered right across that certain part of her chest one would normally get yelled and scolded at for looking there said BOYS AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT TROUBLE!. Black hair in a tight bun? Wrong. Long white-blonde veela-ish hair loose and all about. Stern look on her pale face? Looks more like three pounds of makeup and a.. weird.. grin thingy.. oh, and some gum. Green gum. I like gum. (I also like putting short unnecessary sentences in the middle of my fic.) (Chapter Three)  
  
Colin Creevey?! He sent chills down Harry's spine.. Colin accidentally KNOCKED HARRY OUT by hitting him *playfully* in the back.  
  
Colin slapped Harry on the back. "Hey, buddy, where've you been the last year?.. Harry?.... Harry, are you okay?"  
  
Harry swayed on the spot.  
  
FLUMP. (Chapter Four)  
  
Then.. Oh, this was horrible.. Colin sang him a LULLABY during Lunch when he was unconscious! Since everyone was opposite, no one laughed.. except for Hermione.  
  
"Rock-a-bye, Harry, in Hogwarts School,  
Slytherins stink and Gryfindors rule,  
I slapped you a little hard and you began to fall,  
and do-own came Harry, spellbooks and all."  
  
Harry could not believe what was happening. He knew everyone would be laughing at him. Quite the contrary. Everyone was going "Awwwww" and "How cute!" like they were all his mother. Only Hermione was rolling on the floor laughing.  
  
Fred and George? He had begged them to play a trick on him, to make him wake up and be normal again. They weren't twins, they were totally different!  
  
"Whatever are you talking about?" asked a tall thin boy.  
  
"Fred, please, don't lose your trail of advanced thought," a small fat boy said.  
  
"George, I downloaded it onto the memory database," the tall thin boy said.   
  
"Oh, no," Harry said, feeling his forehead. "WHY did I have to do that.. God, why is this happening?"  
  
And I won't even MENTION what's happening in Heaven.. (Chapter Four)  
  
"Yoo tayk the dool axe, an' all tayke the shahrp axe and all slaw-terr heep-o-greefs before ye.." (Translation: "You take the dull axe and I'll take the sharp axe and I'll slaughter hippogriffs before you..")  
  
Three guesses who that is. Hagrid. He's TINY, and had a high, squeaky Scottish Accent/Pirate Accent voice. (Chapter Five)  
  
And Ginny? Sweet and shy as normal? Also a bit taken with Harry? (Chapter 6)  
  
"You can think what you want! I am not attracted to you, Harry Potter!"  
  
Ahem. Moving on...  
  
Ron dragged Harry upstairs and round the corner into a classroom. Students were lining up to pet the cute, fuzzy orange Mrs. Norris, who was playing with a ball of yarn on her back in such a way that screamed out, "PLAY WITH ME!" (Chapter Six)  
  
Enough said here!  
  
And Harry especially got chills about Divination..  
  
"My, it is hot out, isn't it?" Professor Trelawney said. The class had assembled. "I've put in this muggle hair-solicitor into the wall instead of that red-hot fireplace. We'd be in blazes if we didn't have it on." (Chapter Six)  
  
Professor Trelawney was... normal. Scary.  
  
"The Candy-Man can!" he sang. "Who can take a rain-bowwwwww," he continued. "La-la-la-la-laaaaaaaa, the Candy-Man can! Yaay!" he looked at Harry. "Run off to class, run off to class! Always remember the candy-man can!" And he skipped off singing. (Chapter Seven)  
  
Oh, Harry did feel sorry for poor, demented Filch. Yes, Filch.  
  
There was one thing he liked about this weird day.  
  
The stall opened, and Moaning Myrtle stepped out.  
  
"Moaning Myrtle?" Harry said weakly.  
  
Moaning Myrtle looked different. She had long straight blonde hair and she was taller. She looked a whole lot prettier but positively the most noticable difference of all is that she was smiling. "Oh, hello, Harry!" She gave him a hug. "I don't go by that name anymore, if it's all right with you," she said. "I now go by Marvelous Myrtle."  
  
Harry looked at her, dazed. "Marvelous Myrtle," he said dreamily. He had a short vision of them skipping in a field but was brought back to earth by her call.  
  
That wasn't too bad.  
  
He also met characters like Professor Flitwick (tall), Madam Hooch (sulky), Madam Pince (nice), Professor Binns (funfunfun), and Professor Sprout (eeevil). They were all reeeally weird. But today.. In the Great Hall, he could not believe what he saw.  
  
*****  
  
Don't worry, more will be up soon, maybe tommorow! 


	2. Chapter Three: The Dursleys

The TOTALLY Backwards Day in Hogwarts RETURNS!!  
Chapter Three: The Dursleys  
  
So like I said, Harry wanted to run back up. He sat down at the table and tried not to talk to anyone.   
  
The mail came in. Harry got this *HUGE* package. He ripped it open. Inside was lots of wizard money, a new broom, (top-of-the-line, of course), new spellbooks, new robes, and lots of packing peanuts! Poor Hedwig almost died trying to get it to Hogwarts. Aaaand, WHO was this from?  
  
The Kind and Loving and Caring Dursleys!  
  
Inside was a letter telling him how much they missed him and blah blah blah. There was also a photograph.  
  
Dudley was most opposite of them all. Dudley is now a she. She (named Danielle) was short and skinny as a stick with long black hair that draped over her back and fell down to the backs of her knees. She was very pretty. His Aunt Petunia resembled his Aunt Marge in nearly every way, except for the fact that her hair was black as well. His Uncle Vernon had blonde hair and was skinny. Harry couldn't believe it. In the photograph, they were all smiling at him. They had even somehow developed it in a potion, because it was moving!  
  
Harry started to put all of the things back in the box when he heard a voice from behind him.  
  
"Oooh!" the voice squealed. "Oooh, Harry, can I see?! Huh?!"  
  
Harry turned around. It was.. Ron?  
  
"Oooh!" Ron squealed.  
  
Ron was wearing girls' robes and he let his hair grow, which he put into pigtails.  
  
"Er, OK," Harry said, handing Ron the package.  
  
"Oooh, thanks, Harry!" Ron grabbed the package and analyzed everything down to every last packing peanut in the box, then thrust it into Harry's arms and skipped away.  
  
Harry knew that the last time everyone had gone haywire, the food tasted awful. He tasted a bit of it and promptly spit it out onto his plate. It was horrible.  
  
Harry, as new Quidditch captain after Wood left, got news of 2 quittings on the Gryfindor Quidditch team and 2 new entries. Who quit? Fred and George. One entry was from Hermione, and one was from Neville.  
  
As much as he hated to, he had to ask the quitters why they quit. It was rules. He went over to Fred (tall and skinny, as in the last fic) and George (short and pudgy, also as in the last fic). They were surrounded by books and Muggle laptops.  
  
"Fred? George?" Harry began.  
  
"Yes?" they both answered, not looking up from their work.  
  
"Er-- why did you quit the Quidditch team?"  
  
"We've just lost the fun in it," said Fred.  
  
"We would rather sit in the stands and enjoy working on out laptops and watching the game at the same time," said George.  
  
"You can't be hitting some silly black balls around while working on a laptop," said Fred, laughing. "George tried it once. Never forgave himself."  
  
"I dropped it," George confessed. "But no more. We quit."  
  
"Er, whatever," said Harry. He went on to Hermione to ask her if the position of Beater is OK with her. It was also one of the rules.  
  
He looked around for her but couldn't find her. Finally, he spotted a girl at the Gryfindor table with short straight blonde hair. He went up to her.  
  
"Hermione?" he asked.  
  
"What is this... 'Hermoiney' you speak of?" the blonde girl asked. (Author's Note: THIS DOES NOT IMPLY THAT BLONDES ARE DUMB so in the reviews, don't complain. I just figure that lemonadish-blonde is opposite of mousy-brown. OK?)  
  
"It is a name," Harry said, automatically knowing that this must be Hermione. "It is your name."  
  
"Hermoiney," the girl said dreamily. "That's such a pretty name. I wish it were mine."  
  
Harry slapped his forehead and walked away.  
  
*****  
  
CLIFFHANGER! I crave reviews. FLOSS OFTEN! 


	3. Chapter Four: What You've All Been Waiti...

The TOTALLY Backwards Day in Hogwarts RETURNS!!  
Chapter Four: What You've All Been Waiting For...  
  
Harry, somehow, had Potions next. So he went there. He guided Hermione there, as she kept walking off from him in a random direction.  
  
"Come on, Hermione," Harry said, grabbing her arm.  
  
"You are so kind, Nice Boy. Where are we going?" she asked.  
  
"Potions."  
  
"Portugal? Isn't that a bit far to walk, Nice Boy?" Hermione asked, trying to comprehend.  
  
"My name is HARRY."  
  
On the way they passed Malfoy.  
  
"Hey Harry!" said Malfoy. "Harry, wait up!"  
  
Harry didn't bother to wait up. He kept walking as Hermione turned to wave at Malfoy.  
  
"Come on, Hermione," Harry said, pulling her along.  
  
Malfoy scrambled over to them. He was considerably shorter and had mussy brown hair. "Heading to Potions, Harry? Me too! Can I join you and Hermione? Pleeease, Harry?"  
  
"All right," Harry said.  
  
"Oh thank you Harry, thank you!" Malfoy tagged along. He turned to Hermione. "Hey, I haven't spoken with you before! You're Hermione, aren't you?"  
  
There was a long pause. "Did you say something?" asked Hermione.  
  
Harry was glad they got talking. Now he could ditch them and run to Potions. He took off.  
  
"Are you Hermione?" Colin-- I mean, MALFOY-- asked.  
  
"Oh, so YOU'RE that Hermoiney I have been hearing about!" said Hermione. "It is nice to meet you, Hermoiney. Isn't it, Nice Boy?" she peered around for Harry. "Nice Boy?"  
  
Malfoy sped up to follow Harry, who was down the corridor. Hermione promptly forgot what she was doing and ran out a door leading to the grounds. Unfortunately, Hermione forgot to open the door first, so after seven or eight more tries of running head on into the door, she gave up and leapt out the window.  
  
MEANWHILE AT POTIONS...  
  
Harry hated this. Snape was (because I know all of you want me to) EXAXTLY THE SAME AS LAST TIME. Except different.  
  
Snape stood at his desk with a compact in hand and primping his golden curls and applying rouge at the same time somehow. He was wearing pink robes and had numerous beauty charmbooks and ditzy teen magazines (heh heh, thanks, Amara) on it as well as plenty of make-up stuff. He looked up to the class.  
  
"Hello, class," he said in an outrageous high voice that got everyone's attention. He crossed to the front of his desk and sat cross-legged on it. "Today we make a Muggle cream that will actually remove wrinkles AND define high-toned skin color at the same time!"  
  
He saw most of the class take out their potions ingredients eagerly (think OPPOSITE!).  
  
Snape made a face. "No, no, no, put away that disgusting armadillo bile and leech guts and whatever else of that kind of junk you've got there. I will provide supplies! He reached behind his desk and pulled out an enormous handbag that resembled a coin purse, but much bigger. With difficulty, he heaved it onto his lap and opened it.  
  
Just like in Mary Poppins (don't know why I'm referring to that, I guess it's opposite enough), he pulled out things impossible to put in one purse. He pulled out a 7-pound bag of flour, some potted plants, a floor lamp, a cell phone, a cat, nasal spray, a color TV, a bottle of soy sauce, some Cocamidopropyl PG-Dimonium Chloride Phosphate (I found that ingredient from a box of soap), about 50 makeup stuffs, a can of corn, and plenty of other things before he came to what he was looking for. Half the class was filled with stuff when he found it.  
  
"Here it is!" he said. "I KNEW I put it somewhere. Here's some lemon juice, assorted plants, and.. er.. well, that's not important. You don't even need that CAULDRON." He said 'cauldron' the way someone else might say 'dookey'. He pointed to Harry's cauldron. "Eww, not fashionable! Not fashionable at all. I'll give you a bowl and a stirring-thing and you just mix." So he did. It was boring. Then the bell rang. My fingers are tired. I think I'm just publish this.  
  
*TV Announcer Voice* In the next chapter of "The TOTALLY Backwards Day at Hogwarts RETURNS"!!! ... you will find.. uh well you'll find something I'm sure. 


	4. Chapter Five: Transfiguration

The TOTALLY Backwards Day in Hogwarts RETURNS!!  
Chapter 5: Transfiguration  
  
Author's Note: I plan to make this version shorter than The TOTALLY Backwards Day at Hogwarts School, maybe 6 or 7 chapters. I am working on The Stupid Story of Stupidity, and I am creating another Harry Potter play thing. Since the Beauty and the Beast one stunk, I am doing Charlotte's Web. I have everything all laid out..  
  
*****  
  
Harry had Transfiguration next. Saaay, his schedule is the exact same as my last fic! Imagine that.  
  
Harry didn't want to go back to the time he had Transfiguration the last time everyone was.. backward. He shuddered to imagine McGonagall. He walked into the classroom, Malfoy tagging along behind him saying something about how he would skip all of the Slytherin classes and go with Harry instead.  
  
Harry's jaw dropped when he saw McGonagall. Her hair was down. She had a big t-shirt with a peace sign on it and ripped jeans. She looked just like one of those American hippies from the 1970s!  
  
"Like, take a seat, class," she said. "Today we turn a flower into a butterfly. Doesn't that sound fun?"  
  
The class was very enthusiastic.  
  
They, one by one, succeeded. Harry remembered that the last time this happened, whatever he did, his grades weren't affected. He decided to play around. He turned his flower into a gun.  
  
"Hey, whoa, little wizard brother," McGonagall said in a dull hippie-like tone to him. "We respect nature. We are not violent. This is, like, going on your report."  
  
The class gasped at Harry.  
  
Hippie McGonagall walked away.  
  
Harry tried his best to respect nature until class was over. He walked out the door. He spotted a boy with blonde hair and a pointy face with a smirk on it. He looked exactly like Draco Malfoy.  
  
"Potter," the boy said on Harry's way out the door. "You sure did some good for Gryfindor today." He was sarcastic. "You know Professor McGonagall loves peace, where have you been? You know, I'd like to see things your way, but I can't get my head quite that far up my--"  
  
"Quiet, Colin," Harry said.  
  
"Ooh, I'm scared," Colin said.  
  
Harry started walking. He had to go to lunch but decided to skip it since he knew the food was awful and he went to Hagrid's instead, just to see what he was like. He knocked on Hagrid's door and it flew open, revealing a Japanese karate/secret agent person.  
  
"I am Hagrid," he said, "and if you so much as knock on my door again you will surely die. Do you know what weapons I have hidden in my clothes?"  
  
"No," Harry said, going cautiously.  
  
"I have a Sig Sauer in my shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in my boots, six different guns in my inside coat pockets, a handgun in an ankle pocket, a derringer two-shot up my sleeve, a dagger in my belt, garrotte wire in my watch, three stun grenades concealed in various pockets, a rifle strapped to my waist, and a good old ball bearing cosh stuffed down my shirt. Any other information you need from me?"  
  
"No, sir."  
  
"You'll be on your way now?"  
  
"Yes, sir." Harry was a bit frightened.  
  
"Get out of my face." And he shut the door right in Harry's face.  
  
Harry was depressed.  
  
*****  
  
Chapter 6 in the works!! Have fun! 


	5. Chapter Six: The Rest of Afternoon Break

The TOTALLY Backwards Day in Hogwarts RETURNS!!  
Chapter Six: The Rest of Afternoon Break  
  
There was still quite a while left for lunch and afternoon break. Harry just remembered that he forgot to ask Neville if the position of Beater was OK for him for Quidditch. He was looking for Neville when he saw on the grounds a fair-sized group of girls crowded around something. Harry couldn't see.  
  
OK, he thought, if I were Neville and I had turned opposite, where would I be? Well.. Probably somewhere with a group of girls around me, right? Right. So he went toward the group of girls and poked his head in.  
  
"Neville?" he called.  
  
"...So after I dump her, right, she tries to put this curse on me, but I block it with a hex shield and it bounces right off of the shield! And she storms out going, 'I hope you get a failing grade'"!  
  
The girls laugh.  
  
"Neville?" Harry called. "Hello?!"  
  
"Oh, hey, Harry!" Neville said. The girls follow his lead and greet Harry.  
  
"Hey, Harry!"  
  
"Hi, Harry!"  
  
"I just wanted to say that, about the Quidditch tryout--"  
  
"Did I get in?" Neville interrupted.  
  
"Well, yes, but--"  
  
"Didn't I say I'd get in, girls?" Neville asked the group of girls surrounding him and Harry. The girls started congratulating Neville.  
  
"Way to go, Neville!"  
  
"We'll win that cup this year!"  
  
"Congratulations!"  
  
"Neville!" Harry said impatiently.  
  
"What?" Neville asked.  
  
"Is Beater OK with you?"  
  
"Yeah, sure fine, whatever."  
  
Harry left. This was ridiculous! He couldn't believe it had happened again-- that everyone had gone backwards. On his way back into the castle, he passed Hermione in a tree having a conversation with a catterpillar. Hermione seemed taken aback that her questions weren't getting replies.  
  
Harry wondered who he could visit who might be sane. The only person he could think of was Moaning Myrtle. So, he went down to her bathroom. It was the same as last time. Except the author is so freaking lazy she will copy and paste what she wrote in the last story.   
  
The Out-of-Order sign was still there, but when he opened the door, he wasn't quite sure that this wasn't a working bathroom like it was supposed to be. The tiles on the floor were light pink, the sinks a striking while marble and faucets of silver. The mirrors on the walls were very large with thick frames of rose quartz. The stalls were composed of a light pink porcelain and the locks were pure stainless steel of a silvery color. The walls, a swirly pink-colored stucco form. The ceiling matched the floor. Everything was so clean you could see one's face off of it.  
  
Except, the room's noises were so different. Ah, yes. It was silence. No one was crying.  
  
"Hello?" Harry asked quietly into the silence, feeling if he spoke too loudly he would disturb the peace in the bathroom.  
  
"Yes? Is that you, Harry?" came a voice from inside the last stall.  
  
"Yes..."  
  
The stall door opened and Moaning Myrtle stepped out, pretty much the same as last time. Her ghostly figure hovered a few inches above the floor. She didn't look like the Moaning Myrtle Harry used to know. She had gotten a lot taller and had long hair that floated with her. She was not ugly like the old Myrtle. But the reader probably cares more about her changes in personality (unless the reader is a teenage boy).  
  
"How did you remember me just by voice?" Harry asked.  
  
"I don't know. I guess I just remember, even though we haven't spoken for a long time."  
  
"Oh." Harry could see that Myrtle was a lot smarter too.  
  
"And I now go by Marvelous Myrtle, if that's all right," she said.  
  
"Marvelous Myrtle," Harry said dreamily. He snapped out of it. "I had the worst day so far," he said, practically swooning into her arms but luckily stopping himself.  
  
"I'm so very sorry," she said. "What's happened?"  
  
Harry knew she would think he was crazy if he told her that everything had turned upside down and that she was supposed to be an ugly self-centered little nightmare. So he made something up.  
  
"Uh.. I have.. a bad hair day."  
  
"Aww," Marvelous Myrtle said, running her fingers through his wild hair. Her fingers were ice-cold. Harry didn't care. "I like your hair."  
  
Harry, trying to act, sniffled and managed a weak smile. "Well, I'd better be going."  
  
"Thank you for coming, Harry," Marvelous Myrtle said. "Please come to visit my bathroom anytime you'd like."  
  
Harry remembers the old Myrtle telling him this and him seriously not wanting to. "I sure will, thanks Myrtle!"  
  
At that, he made his way toward the door, but turned around once more to wave. She blew him a kiss and he blushed and went to his next class-- Herbology.  
  
*****  
  
Yay! Chapter 7 Soon! 


	6. Chapter Seven: A Break from the Action

Ha ha ha. You thought I'd died. But NO! I am back.  
  
The TOTALLY Backwards Day in Hogwarts RETURNS because the author has been lazy for just over a year!  
  
Yeah. That'd be about right.  
  
Hello again. I've left this fic sitting for nearly a year and a half, and when I was just looking at all the stories I've written, this one's prequel had been fun to write and I felt bad leaving it alone for so long. Same thing with the Stupid Story of Stupidity. I DID write that 20th and final chapter, but it never got so far to be published. Until now..  
  
Anyway.  
  
I'll try to update this as often as possible, as I miss writing and inspiration hasn't struck yet. So why start a new non-inspired story when you have a small chance of saving an old and stupid one?  
  
I just reread these six chapters and I just want to apologize. I mean.. that was horrible. Embarassing, too. So I'm gonna try to save it!  
  
I will continue this, and hopefully it will be less.. stupid. Continue on to chapter eight!   
But first, listen here: Since I didn't update for so long, this takes place before OotP came out. So no spoilers here. It's pretty much AU now. Continue onto chapter eight, and enjoy. 


	7. Chapter Eight: Quidditch Practice

_The Totally Backwards Day at Hogwarts RETURNS!!  
Chapter Eight: Quidditch Practice  
  
_Before Harry could get to Herbology, however, an owl swooped by and he ducked. A letter fell in front of him from the owl, and it had his name on it. Harry opened it.  
  
_Harry,  
  
An emergency Quidditch meeting is supposed to happen on the pitch as soon as possible. So round up the new players and get down to the pitch.  
  
Peace out,  
Minerva McGonagall  
Like, Deputy Headmistress  
  
_Okay. Phew. Well, at least it was just a meeting, not an actual game. He had to get Neville and Hermione.  
  
Neville was not hard to find; the large group of girls surrounding him and the large peacock feather he stuck to his pointy black uniform hat made him stand out, believe it or not.  
  
Harry was making his way through the hall to the sea of females with Neville enclosed inside when he bumped into someone else.  
  
"Oof!" they both said as they collided, dropping their books.  
  
"Sorry," they said to eachother in unison. They both bent down to help eachother picked up books and promptly clunked their heads together.  
  
"Ouch," the person who collided with him said. It was a girl's voice.  
  
"Sorry," Harry apologized. He finally looked up. It was Ginny.  
  
"It's okay," she said. She looked the same, but he could tell she was holding herself differently even if she was bent over at the moment. She acted normal. Oh, wait.. No, she didn't. There was definitely something different about the way she acted. She had smiled when she told him it was okay, and she had looked him straight in the eyes, fearless. Her face was not pink as it usually was when he was around her.  
  
Harry began to gather up books. _Maybe she doesn't fancy me anymore,_ Harry thought. In a way, he was slightly disappointed. (A/N: If you read OotP and think this isn't backwards, go back to the previous chapter and reread it sloooowly.) It was exciting, having someone fancy you. But now he could actually get to know her. She could be a whole different person, for all he knew. He never got to know her that well, she was always so quiet.  
  
She eyed him as they stood and exchanged books. "Harry?" she said.  
  
"Yeah?" he asked. Yes, she was definitely holding herself differently.  
  
"This is going to sound stupid, but I've fancied you for the past few years. I know you've almost definitely noticed, but I just can't figure out why I didn't say anything sooner!"  
  
Harry swallowed. She still fancied him; it was just that she was not afraid to admit it anymore. He didn't know exactly what to say, but he did know one thing: the last time this happened, he had woken up and it was an awful dream, so it was as if the backwards day had never happened. It was probably going to be the same now. So whatever he did today wouldn't matter...  
  
He liked it when she actually looked him in the eye and spoke to him, instead of going pink and avoiding him. It seemed right when she held her normal complexion instead of getting all pink (he used to feel like staying around her for too long would cause her to explode). Harry noticed this as she rose. Maybe it was the backwardness that triggered his noticing her, but he couldn't be quite sure.  
  
"Want to come to a Quidditch meet with me?" he asked her.  
  
She smiled. "Sure!"  
  
He smiled back. "Okay. Neville's right over there, I was just going to go get him, and Hermione's outside. We need to bring them."  
  
"Okay," she agreed, following him into the crowd of females. He finally got to the center, where tall, blonde, handsome Neville stood, a girl clinging to each of his arms. "Ah!" he said, smiling. "My good friend Harry! And Miss Ginny Weasley," he said, shifting his gaze to her. "I believe I've forgotten to thank you for tutoring me the other week, have I not?"  
  
"It was nothing," she said, smiling a little.  
  
"Well," he said, shaking off the girl on his right arm to free his hand, then taking her hand and lifting it. "You were a lovely--" he kissed her hand before letting her draw back, "--lovely teacher." The other girls whispered and chattered in jealousy towards Ginny.  
  
Ginny looked a bit pained and awkward. "Er, you're welcome, Neville."  
  
"Oh, leave her alone, Neville," Harry said. He really preferred Neville when he wasn't such a prat.  
  
Neville raised his eyebrows. "I'm sorry, Harry.. I had no idea she was--"  
  
"Neville, no--"  
  
"_With_ you--"  
  
"Not like that," Harry said, going rather pink and glancing towards Ginny, who was smiling a bit in amusement.  
  
"All right then," Neville said, though obviously not convinced. "What do you need from me?"  
  
"McGonagall said we've got to go to a Quidditch meeting now, so I need you to come."  
  
"Perfect," he said, grinning. The other girls congratulated him and assumed they were coming too. "Mind if they come?" Neville asked.  
  
"If they don't mind missing class," Harry said. "I have to go find Hermione now, so I'll meet you on the pitch."  
  
"Right. I'll be going then," Neville said. "Just keep your mind on the matter at hand, Mr. Potter," he said, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.  
  
"Er-- right. I will."  
  
And Neville went on with his gaggle of groupies.  
  
"That Neville," Ginny said, shaking her head. "I don't like him at all.."  
  
"Me either," Harry said quickly.  
  
The three Gryffindor Chasers, each walking sluggishly came round the corner in the hall. "We came from McGonagall's class," Angelina said gruffly. "She sent us to the meeting, so we got our brooms."  
  
Harry noticed Angelina held two brooms, while the other two Chasers each held their own.  
  
"Er, right," Harry said. "Go on, you can head out on the pitch, we'll be there soon."  
  
The Chasers walked off. Harry heard someone running, a girl, probably, as the quick steps were definitely high-heels slapping the floor. Panting was heard, and Ron rounded the corner, high heels and all. Harry watched, half amused, half disgusted.  
  
"Ugh," Ginny whispered to Harry. "My brother.. Try not to mind him.."  
  
Ron stopped in front of Harry and Ginny and caught his breath, fanning his face with a hand so quickly it looked as if he could have recently taken in a lot of caffeine. "Phew," he said, tossing his longer-than-usual red hair behind him. "I heard there was a Quidditch meeting, Harry. Have you got a Keeper?"  
  
"No," Harry said. "No one tried out for Keeper, I'm afraid."  
  
"Fabulous," Ron said enthusiastically, beaming. "Fred and George say they'll give me twelve Galleons if I get out there and last one meeting."  
  
Harry looked at him, bewildered. "Where would they get that kind of money?"  
  
"Daddy, probably," Ron said, giving Harry an odd look. "Come on, Harry, you know how rich he is."  
  
"Ah. Of course, yeah."  
  
Ron smiled. "I'll be out there, then. Angelina promised me she'd bring my brand new broom with her. She's such a sweetie," Ron said, giggling. And he headed off down the hall.  
  
Harry and Ginny headed off together onto the grounds, looking for Hermione. They found her in the small tree she was in before, poking her caterpillar.  
  
"Hermione, come down!" Harry called.  
  
Hermione looked around in all directions, startled, trying to determine where the voice came from. Her eyes rested on the caterpillar, comprehension dawning on her face, and she prodded it again, eyes wide and mouth agape. "You finally said something!"  
  
Harry slapped his forehead for the second time that day. "Hermione. Look down on the ground. Do you see me?" Harry yelled and waved a hand as if they were a far distance away, when in reality it was only several feet.  
  
Hermione looked around once more. "Oh, hello!" she said, finally finding Harry and Ginny. "Who are you?" she cheerfully asked them.  
  
Harry let out a frustrated groan. Hermione was actually better as a bossy know-it-all than an incredibly stupid girl with the good-naturedness of a six-year-old. "Come with us," Harry said slowly. "We're going to go over there--" here he motioned towards the Quidditch pitch, "--to play a game on broomsticks," Harry said, miming sitting on a broom. Ginny was watching amusedly.  
  
Hermione watched, eyes glazed over, and there were several moments' pause. "Okay," she agreed. "Can I bring..?" she picked up her caterpillar.  
  
"What? Oh, sure," Harry said.  
  
Hermione made a joyous squeal and hopped down from the short tree branch, caterpillar in hand. The trio began to head towards the pitch. Hermione took her wand out of her pocket and poked her caterpillar over and over again.  
  
"Hermione, I don't think that's a good idea," Ginny said gently, as if telling a small child they couldn't have a cookie.  
  
"No, it's okay," Hermione said. The caterpillar was slowly swelling. By the time the three had almost reached the pitch, it was the size of an infant. This wouldn't have mattered much if a mail owl hadn't been passing overhead. It circled them like a vulture.  
  
"Hermione," Harry said slowly, "put the caterpillar down."  
  
Hermione's bright smile faded quickly and she cradled the caterpillar as if it actually was a baby, turning away from Harry as if she expected him to wrestle it from her. "No."  
  
"Hermione, please," Harry said, more frantically. "See the owl up there? That owl wants your friend there."  
  
"Wh-what for?" Hermione asked.  
  
"To eat," Ginny explained.  
  
Hermione let out a great gasp. The owl screeched overhead, and swooped down.  
  
"You can't have him!" Hermione cried, protecting her hideous monster caterpillar from the furious flurry of feathers. The owl nipped her finger with its sharp beak, annoyed.  
  
"OW!" Hermione cried, popping her finger into her mouth and dropping her caterpillar with a thump. The owl promptly landed on the ground and began to feast on the huge caterpillar. "You dung-head!" She pointed her wand at the owl, and a red beam immediately turned it into jerky. Realizing what she had just done, Hermione burst into tears.  
  
Ginny tried to comfort her, turning her away from the scene. "There, there, Hermione. Don't cry."  
  
"Come on, you two," Harry said. "We have to begin the practice."  
  
"Yes, I want to fly on a broomstick," Hermione sniffed, rubbing an eye.  
  
"Ginny, I don't think Hermione's safe in the air, with those attention and memory spans of hers," Harry said.  
  
"Think of it this way," Ginny said. "If she lands herself in the Hospital Wing with a head injury, she can't turn out much worse than she already is," she finished coolly.  
  
Harry smiled sheepishly. "Good point.."  
  
Seven intruders marched onto the pitch. They were all scrawny and small, dragging their brooms along and wearing too-large Quidditch robes. They were unmistakably the Slytherin Quidditch team.  
  
"Hey guys!" Malfoy squeaked. "Snape let us out of Potions early. Wanna play some Quidditch.. You know.. just a friendly match?" he asked nervously and quickly.  
  
"Uh, sure," Harry said. They looked like pretty easy prey.  
  
Harry thrust a school broom into Hermione's hands, then hurriedly taught her how to get on it. Ginny went into the stands as Neville gathered everyone on the team into a huddle, somehow leaving his groupies behind, and they rushed into the stands as some kind of cheering section.  
  
Neville, Harry, Ron (who showed up because there was no Keeper), Hermione, and the three Chasers formed a tight circle.  
  
"Right," Neville said. "We're going to go out there and give it a shot. Us Beaters are new on the team, but I think we will prove to be memorable players," he said with a smile and a wink at Hermione, who stared in a different direction, her attention held by something shiny.  
  
"Anyway, you all know how good those Slytherins are at Quidditch," he went on hurriedly. "Their Chasers are really good, so our Keeper will have to stay alert," he added, gesturing towards Ron, who was busying himself by tying his hair back.  
  
"So I think we should try the Hawkshead Formation for the Chasers, and as for the Bludgers, aim for Slytherin Chasers and Keeper and Beaters.. well.. everyone, really," Neville said.  
  
They all thought for a moment, except for Hermione, who never did, and the Chasers, who'd fallen asleep.  
  
"I think it's a rotten idea--" Harry began. Neville opened his mouth to protest and Harry hurried to finish his sentence. "--but since it's the only one we've got, okay."  
  
They got ready to start. Neville shrugged off his cloak, and all of his groupies gasped as one. He never tired of that. All of the players mounted their brooms, including Hermione, with Harry's help. Neville woke up the Chasers and they mounted their brooms as well. Neville gestured up to his cheering section, then down to the box holding the Quaffle, Bludgers, and Snitch. The first girl to get the message ran down excitedly to open the box and release the five balls, and the game began.  
  
Harry got very bored surprisingly quickly. Not much happened, and short, stocky brown-haired Malfoy kept waving to him from the other side of the field. The Slytherin Chasers _were_ quite good; they were small and fast and smart, completely opposite from the team Harry knew.  
  
Unfortunately, Gryffindor was quite bad. The Chasers dropped the ball and aimed incorrectly. Ron spent the game off to the side, gazing into a pocket mirror and flipping his hair. Neville, though proving to be good for show, had the hand-eye coordination of a snail. The cheering girls supported him anyway, and every once in a while he flashed a smile at his cheering section that would've made Gilderoy Lockhart proud. Or jealous.  
  
Hermione was a different story. It was a wonder a Bludger hadn't hit her yet. All she did was play around on her broom childishly, unable to get used to it. She had dropped her club right after kicking off, and there on the ground it was doomed to stay for the rest of the match.  
  
The Slytherin Chasers scored another spectacular goal. They didn't really need to try, it wasn't like Ron was doing anything to stop them. Very soon, the score was Slytherin: lost count at 240, Gryffindor: nothing at all.  
  
Harry spotted the Snitch. He had been praying the practice would end the second they kicked off. Malfoy had seen the Snitch too, and just kept waving to Harry, so Harry flew over to Malfoy.  
  
"See the Snitch, Harry?" Malfoy asked.  
  
"Yeah," Harry said slowly. "What're you playing at?"  
  
"You can catch it," Malfoy said with a generous smile. "Go on, my team doesn't need the points."  
  
"Okay," Harry said slowly, and sped off to look for it.  
  
After a few minutes of chasing the Snitch, Harry reached out as far as his arm would allow him to, and soon his fingers closed around the Snitch. Everyone applauded, the well-mannered Slytherins included. The final score being Gryffindor: 150, Slytherin: a lot more, Slytherin clearly won, but didn't seem to notice. They were caught up in being so polite.  
  
The players landed, save for Hermione, whom Harry had to go back up and fetch, muttering something about nobody telling him he'd have to babysit.  
  
"Great practice, Harry," Neville said, smiling, before being swept away in an ocean of girls pouring out from the stands. Hermione dragged her broomstick along as Harry kept a hold on her arm so she wouldn't get away. She was watching in mild interest as a small flock of owls finished off her caterpillar she had dropped before the match.  
  
Ginny came out of the stands after them. "That was very good," she said, smiling at Harry and Hermione.  
  
"What do you mean?" Harry asked. "We lost horribly."  
  
"It was fun!" Hermione said, her eyes shining gleefully.  
  
"I bet it was, Hermione," Ginny said to her slowly and nicely. She turned back to Harry. "Well, it's difficult to win against Slytherin. They always play clean, quick games, but they're always so nice about it."  
  
"Then why did you say we did so well?" Harry asked, bewildered.  
  
"Well, I suppose what I meant was, at least you didn't catch them on one of their good days."  
  
*****  
  
Proud of this chapter. You know what to do. I crave reviews.   



	8. UPDATE! WHHHAT?

Ohhhh man.

So I'm online and bored and think, "Hey, it'd be cool to have a laugh looking at my old fanfiction from when I was a wee child of eleven through thirteen!" (Now I am sixteen. :nods:) So I go to my old old account.

And what do I find? My old (and now slightly embarassing) stories and things.. And REVIEWS from as recent as November of 2005! That's like recent!

So maybe I'll start writing a bit more.

Reviewers really make all the difference. They do. Thanks a lot )

Hmm... Perhaps another version of The Totally Backwards Day at Hogwarts.. but in Ron's POV? And a certain someone, instead of holding her feelings inside, lets them all out since everyone's opposite? Gosh. Ideas are formulating in my miiind...

This may start a whole new HP fanfiction period for me. Or I might get lazy again. But REVIEWERS are what keep me going, they are every writer's support and motivation.

Alex

P.S. & WHERE did The Stupid Story of Stupidity go? I'm serious. It poofed. I don't think I deleted it. I am sad. ( :gets over it: mkay guys keep an eye out for me!


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